Healing begins the moment you accept that there is a problem. I was the kind of person who had no desire to acknowledge the many traumas I needed to address. For so long, I thought nothing was wrong with me everyone else was the problem. Playing the victim became a role I performed so perfectly, without even realizing it. In my mind, everyone else was to blame except me.
One day, I sat alone in the quiet and asked God, "Who
am I?" Before the world shaped me into who I had become, who was I truly?
Every decision I made in my life had been based on someone else's experience or
perspective, or sometimes mine, but through a distorted lens. It was as if my
entire life, I had been programmed to think a certain way.
That was the moment my journey of self-discovery and healing
began. The most painful part about healing is that you must start from the
beginning. It's almost as if you're reliving the trauma. But honestly, it has
been one of the best decisions I've ever made. I came to understand why I am
the way I am. I distanced myself from many things and people because I needed
clarity.
During this time of healing and isolation, I found my true,
authentic self. I realized that over the years, I had adopted other people’s
bad habits and made them my own. I was living in the shadows of others. I took
on their problems and made them my own, busy trying to help others when I was
the one in need of help. I was carrying a heavy mental load much of it not even
mine to bear.
Healing revealed to me that I had been trying to be so much
to others that I neglected myself, even from an early age. I lost myself when I
was very young, and now, I’m making it up to myself. I don’t owe anyone
anything except love, as commanded by the Lord, and no one owes me anything but
love in return.
Healing starts with you taking accountability for your
actions instead of blaming others.
Thank you for reading and sharing I appreciate you.
Photo credit: Washington Gwande
3 comments
Interesting
Thank you for reading x
You are a very good writer Taffy. You know who I am. We used to talk a lot about the difference between Taffy and Theresa. You came a long way and you are doing well. Lots of love and 🫂 hugs.
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